My last night in London I went to my favorite park, to connect and process the first part of my journey. I came across a white, polka dotted pigeon hanging by himself, on the outside of other pigeons, that were all darker and colored the same way.  I smiled to myself as I continued my walk towards the other side of the lake. I found myself in front of a group of swans and I stopped to take some pictures. Then, As I looked up I realized my white polka dotted pigeon had followed me away from the crowd of other pigeons. My pigeon was fixated on trying to get to the swans. The swans were in the water of course, but this pigeon was relentless in trying to figure out how to get in the water with the other swans. This little guy wasn’t an underdog after all!  He was a swan!!

That story will fit in somewhere, just hang tight.

So far I have made my way through London and Amsterdam. Traveling alone has been quite the experience here. One that I undoubtedly wanted and needed, but it’s been  interesting and eye opening. London is full of very polished people and that love wearing white adidas and all black. Everyone. (If you are from London or have been there, you know exactly what I’m saying).

So basically in London, I made a game of getting lost on the trains and finding cute little parks to go to. I swear the parks were enchanted. Like maybe Dragons used to hang around there. Fairies. Unicorns.  It was one of my favorite things to do. London had a very old, rustic, city vibe. Thankful for all that it brought to me, I was ready for a change. I was hoping for more connections with people that were willing to make eye contact and smile.  So…off to Amsterdam I went.

Amsterdam welcomed  me with some of the most beautiful architecture and an amazing sunset.. This made me so excited to venture out the next day. Surely someone here will want to connect..Julie style.

Here I come Amsterdam! The next day I decided to venture out on the metro, feeling so awesome about all the adventures that would happen that day, music playing, jamming, dancing…I was feelin it. Then I turned to the guy next to me and asked him a question; he had a Dutch accent so surely this guy knew exactly what to do. So like any other normal American tourist would do, I followed him onto the metro, unsure as to what door to enter.

With a a skip in my step I went one way, he went the other. As I went to sit in my seat, I hear a very thick, Dutch accent yelling over the speaker. To really give you guys an idea of what this sounded like, it was a mix between Donald Trump and Shreck. I took my ear buds out and looked around and realized everyone was looking at me. Then I hear Shreck again, this time realizing he was yelling, “Lady!” Surely he wasn’t talking to me, I followed someone on the train that knew exactly what he was doing and he was not yelling at this guy. Then he looks at me with a scolding eye and beckons me to come to the front of the bus, as if I was in middle school getting scolded by the school bus driver. Then …. .again, in a thick Shreck accent he yelled “lady!”  Realizing this time that now, the bus was on hold and that he was in fact yelling at me. So here I am, my first day in Amsterdam doing the walk of shame to the front of the bus, to be lectured for coming in the wrong door. Meanwhile the guy I walked in with, is sitting comfortably at the back of the bus with his feet kicked up, reading the news paper.

So basically I realized. I am the white polka dotted pigeon in Hamsterdam ( yes I meant Hamsterdam) because that’s what I felt like.

The white polka dotted pigeon taught me a valuable lesson.

When you are pushed beyond your comfort zone into cities and people that don’t communicate the same way that you do, that look way differen’t than you, that seem like they don’t understand you, or care too..Hang tight, you aren’t the underdog …you are in fact, a magnificent swan hanging in a field full of pigeons.

Hold onto who you are,  trust God/the universe, trust yourself, trust your journey..  Because there are other swans out there looking for you and they too,  feel like they don’t belong with the other pigeons.

These vessels we have called our bodies. Nothing but an illusion. We are all spiritual beings living a human experience, made of divine love and light, looking to shine through people willing to step out, like the brave pigeon. If on the outside you look like a pigeon and on the inside you just know you are a swan. Go be the swan! The magnificent, wild hearted swan our creator made you too be.

Some people, my little white polka dotted swan…may not understand that and that’s ok, they werent’ meant too. This journey is between you and God.

Love wins. We are all one.

Thank you swan.

The End-

Julie Mahu